November Blues

November’s friend, Dana, comes over and brings her their school homework. As November heats up a bowl of spaghetti for her friend, Dana tells her about what she missed that day at school. Dana notices that November is not her usual self and asks her what’s wrong. November does not want to reveal her true emotions and says that she just misses Josh. Trying to cheer her friend up, Dana offers to braid November’s hair. While the two sit in the living room, listening to music, Dana combs November’s hair and the two start talking about Josh. Dana tells November that it must be very hard to lose someone you love, and to her surprise, November confesses that she never really loved Josh. Although she admits saying that she loved him, she did not feel this way. November explains that she thought that’s what one is supposed to say when one is dating. This confession brings tears to her eyes, and she begins to cry. 

As Dana tries to console her, November admits that she never told anybody this before. Dana is surprised because Josh and November seemed so happy together and everyone around them used to be jealous of their true deep feelings for each other. November reveals that she stayed with Josh for a couple of years only because they had a good time together and he always made her laugh. She realizes now that they were too different: while November was more serious and sensible, Josh “didn’t have a serious bone in his body” (5).

Feeling peer pressure, November told Josh that she loved him, and she was planning to enjoy the dating period until he made her angry or she found someone better. Dana cannot believe that her friend did not love Josh and says that maybe November is saying this just to make her feel better now that he is gone.November insists that she only “loved being with him, but didn’t love him” (6). Now that everybody treats her like “the brokenhearted girlfriend” (6), November is overwhelmed with guilt because she doesn't feel like everyone is expecting her to feel.

November also realizes that a lot of her peers stopped talking to her because they do not know how to deal with someone who just lost a loved one. Dana assures November that soon everything will be back to normal, but November breaks into tears and says that it’s not going to happen. Seeing that Dana does not understand why she’s so upset, November looks her in the eye and reveals to Dana that she’s pregnant.

At first, Dana finds it hard to believe the news and asks November if she is sure about the pregnancy. After November tells her about the positive pregnancy test, Dana encourages November to talk about the situation, hoping that this will make November feel better. November reveals to Dana the details of the night she thinks she got pregnant: she and Josh were celebrating him getting into the Warriors of Distinction club, they laughed and ate pizza together in his basement, and then starting kissing. November assures Dana that usually they were better prepared, but on the occasion in question, “things just got out of hand” (9). 

Memories about that night make November wonder if sex is overrated. She admits that she has always felt like something was missing and that her experience with sex was much different from what she has seen in the movies. November wonders if this is because she didn’t love Josh and starts weeping again.

Dana carefully asks her friend if she has told her mother about the baby, but November is terrified of telling her. Her mother is focused on choosing the best college and major for her daughter, and November is scared that she will be devastated by the news. Nevertheless, November does not see another option except to keep the baby,even though she realizes that she is still a child herself. 

When Dana brings up Josh’s parents and how they might react to the news, November is bewildered. She has not even thought about them, but Dana assures her that they would be interested in a potential grandchild, given that Josh was their only child. All the same, November insists that it’s none of their business and that she will deal with her problems herself, although deep inside, she realizes that she doesn’t know how to proceed with her life. That night, November curls up in bed with her favorite stuffed toy and cries herself to sleep.

As November rides the bus to school the next morning, she recalls how local journalists covered the story of Josh's death. She remembers how many of them came to Frederick Douglass High School shortly after the accident, looking for intriguing details. They reported that Josh died while pledging for a school club called the Warriors of Distinction, a prestigious organization highly regarded in the community.The dark side of the club revealed itself only after Josh’s death. 

That day, one particularly persistent reporter recognized November and tried to interview her. Although the woman began her questioning saying that she was sorry for November’s loss, the girl did not believe that she meant it. As November tried to get away from the reporter, the reporter kept asking her questions. When asked whether November was angry at the club for forcing Josh to perform the deadly stunt, November avoided answering but remembers how she and her girlfriends were proud that their boyfriends were going to be in such a highly reputable club. 

Meanwhile, the reporter continued speaking to the camera, saying that only members of the club knew the secrets that the Warriors of Distinction hid. Among those secrets was the initiation process: new members had to undergo many hazing rituals, which culminated in jumping from a second-story window. The night of Josh’s death, fifteen boys from Frederick Douglass High School performed what the club called the “Leap of Faith,” and Josh was the only one who died. Afterward, the club was abolished, and at least one of the members had been sentenced to prison. November always thought that the man was very cruel, so she thought he had deserved his punishment, but it did not make her feel any better, and she still grieved for Josh. 

As November gets off the bus and goes inside the school building, she feels that the fumes from the bus have made her feel sick. She goes to her locker and gets out the books that she needs, but as she closes it she starts to feel extremely nauseous and rushes to the girls’ bathroom. November gets there just in time to throw up “seemingly everything she had eaten since the third grade” (16). 

Someone on the other side of the stall asks November if she is okay and whether she needs a nurse. November tells the stranger to leave her alone.

She looks under the stall door and sees that the stranger is wearing “the ugliest pair of shoes” (16). 

When she exits the stall and looks at herself in the mirror, noticing how unhealthy she looks, the stranger emerges, saying that she is worried about November. November hardly recognizes the girl, even though they take American History together. The girl introduces herself as Olivia Thigpen, and November realizes that she never pays attention to girls like Olivia: the ones who sit quietly in the back of the class and never cause a scene. November does remember that Olivia is in the band because she recalls a concert her friend Jericho had once played in. 

As Olivia shares her fond memories of Josh, November suddenly feels sick again and rushes back to the stall. Olivia asks November if she's pregnant; November denies it. As Olivia is about to go away, November changes her mind and decides to share her secret with Olivia. Olivia suggests that November see a doctor as early as possible, especially considering that November has a disabled brother. November is astonished that Olivia knows about her brother. Olivia explains that she remembers November’s report in English class last year about her volunteering with disabled kids, and how she got involved there because of her brother. November is surprised that Olivia remembers this report and the two girls begin to bond. When Olivia is about to go to class, she gives November her cell phone number. Left alone, November enters the number into her phone, and the thought of Olivia’s kindness makes her cry.