Three Days in June

“The sky overhead was gray and looming: Rain had been forecast for later, and the two workmen setting out traffic cones on the nearby sidewalk wore bright orange slickers.”

This description of the day’s stormy forecast is a moment of foreshadowing. The author uses the imagery of rain and storm clouds to hint at emotional “storms” to come. Since Gail has just had an argument with Marilee and walked off her job, Tyler hints that more conflict is to come.

“I could have taken over my parents’ house, since my mother moved to a high-rise immediately after my father’s death, but by that time my marriage was already on rocky ground and I knew what I needed was a place I could maintain without Max.”

The Complexities of Familial Relationships are a key part of this novel. Tyler characterizes Gail in part through her relationship with her ex-husband, Max. The novel follows Gail as she navigates a series of tricky situations surrounding her daughter’s marriage, but Gail’s experience navigating the ups and downs of a failing marriage and divorce looms large in the background.

“Your great talent is for teaching. You know that, Max said.”

Max is a complex character. He is difficult to live with and doesn’t always consider other people’s feelings, but he is emotionally intelligent. He works with at-risk youth, a job that requires empathy, and he additionally shows empathy in some of his interactions with Gail. Here, during a conversation that is not without bickering, he still takes time to pay Gail a compliment that demonstrates his deep knowledge of who she is: a great teacher.

“Debbie stayed silent, which was her usual tactic when I complained about Max.”

Everyone in this family navigates complex relationships, and each character is capable of both good and bad behavior. Debbie is often caught between her mother and father and does her best to remain diplomatic, or at least silent, when one criticizes the other. She does, at times, share one of her parents’ critical opinions, but she values preserving the peace. In this situation, she does not join in as her mother lashes out about Max.

“Boundaries, that was Max’s problem. I myself was all about boundaries.”

Gail and Max are ultimately ill-suited as partners. Gail had a sense of this early in their relationship but married him anyway. As the years went by, she reflected more and more on their differences and realized that her affair with Andrew highlighted pre-existing fault lines in their relationship. Max’s lack of boundaries was particularly frustrating to her. In her recollections, she notes that Andrew had a much better respect for the boundaries of others.

“I meant it when I said I didn’t want a cat. I didn’t even want a houseplant. I had reached an age where I was done with caretaking.”

Gail is trying to navigate the transition from middle to old age as the novel begins. She finds herself struggling to figure out who she is and what she is going to do for the next few years. Although initially sure that she no longer wants caretaking to be part of her identity, she ultimately relents and adopts the cat by the novel’s end. Much of the narrative sees Gail go back and forth about issues, trying to hash people and events out in her mind to see what she thinks of them. The cat is a symbol that exemplifies this back-and-forth process; it illustrates how much work Gail has to do to recalibrate her identity in a new phase of life.

“Debbie smiled and said ‘Thank you Rupert,’ and took a sip from her own glass. But I was sitting diagonally across the table from her, close enough to see that as soon as she set the glass back down, she stopped smiling. In fact, the smile never reached her eyes.”

Several characters in this novel navigate The Impact of Personal Crises on Self-Perception, particularly previously held opinions about themselves and their relationships. Here, Debbie has just chosen to marry Kenneth even though his sister, Elizabeth, claims that he cheated on her. Debbie, to her mother’s chagrin, believes Kenneth over Elizabeth, demonstrating that she values her relationship and trusts Kenneth. Still, Gail observes, doubts remain, evident in the fact that she stopped smiling after thanking Rupert. The phrase “the smile never reached her eyes” denotes Gail’s perception that Debbie is not truly happy at the rehearsal dinner, a sign that she views as confirmation of Kenneth’s alleged infidelity and that she should not go through with the wedding.

“Anger feels so much better than sadness. Cleaner somehow and more definite. But when the anger fades, the sadness comes right back again the same as ever.”

Gail is initially much more comfortable with anger than sadness. When she can summon anger for Marilee, Kenneth, and others who have wronged her and her loved ones, she knows how to feel. Sadness is a more complex emotion for her, and it is one that both she and Max bury.

“I won’t be pushy! I promise I’ll be very subtle. I won’t tell her not to marry him, I’ll just suggest she spend more time on the decision.”

Gail’s opposition to Debbie’s marriage is one of her character’s key conflicts during the novel. She wants what is best for her daughter, but she does not take Debbie’s wishes into account to the same extent that Max does. Gail is not always as aware of her intentions as she could be, nor does she fully comprehend how others see her. She claims not to be “pushy” here, but her goal is actually to get Debbie to reconsider marrying Kenneth not through deliberately telling her to but through encouraging her to devote “more time” to making the decision.

“I hate the way Max runs an argument into the ground. It used to drive me crazy when we were married.”

Gail and Max had myriad marital troubles that were rooted in general incompatibility. Many of these old points of frustration resurface during the days surrounding the wedding, and Gail is forced to navigate their still-difficult relationship on top of her other stress. That she chooses to let so many things go after privately mulling over why she finds Max’s behavior irritating speaks to her reserve: Although she is, at times, tactless, she is also capable of keeping the peace.

“‘Deb, do you realize how permanent this is?’ Now she did look up. ‘Actually, it’s not. You should know that better than anyone.’”

Here, Gail tries to talk Debbie out of marrying Kenneth. She worries that marriage is “permanent,” but Debbie points out that Gail is divorced: Marriage does not have to be permanent. This exchange exemplifies the differences of opinion that characterize Gail, Max, and Debbie’s relationship. Each of them sees the world differently, communicates differently, and has different priorities. These differences of opinion are a key source of conflict regarding the complexities of familial relationships and make their dynamics difficult to handle at times.

“I envisioned him as he had looked in his dead-black suit, so hopeful and unaware, the kind of man who would never, ever in his life knowingly harm another person.”

Gail’s relationship with Max is complex. She often ruminates on how irritating she finds him, but she does have moments during which she can see his positive attributes. While his lack of boundaries frustrates her, she is forced to admit here that Max is a fundamentally good person, incapable of hurting people on purpose. Having just admitted that she once hurt Max, Max contrasts markedly with Gail in this scene.

“At least he doesn’t look old. Although under all that stubble, who could tell? Men had all the advantages.”

This novel explores The Nuances of Aging for women and the gendered differences in cultural perceptions about age. Here, Gail notes that people subject men to less scrutiny as they age because society still deems them attractive long after women are considered “beyond their prime.”

“‘Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?’ What a cataclysmic question when you stopped to think about it. I wondered how it was that anyone on earth ever found the courage to marry.”

Gail has complicated feelings toward marriage. Her marriage ended in divorce because of a constellation of factors, including her affair, and she has not found herself interested in marrying, or even dating, since her divorce. She struggles socially and does not connect on a deep, emotional level with many people. This causes her to question the entire practice of marriage. She also struggles to forgive and is easily able to dismiss Kenneth because he may have cheated on her daughter. Here, Gail remains unsure that a long-term partnership is the road to happiness and would like to see her daughter place a higher value on independence.

“One of life’s frustrations is that sometimes it’s best to say nothing.”

Gail bristles at the assertion that she is tactless at the beginning of the novel, but she often has judgmental, uncharitable thoughts about other people. Throughout much of the story, she makes quiet observations to herself about various people’s faults, although she does keep most of them to herself. This is one of the key ways that Gail navigates tricky interpersonal experiences: She refrains from saying what she thinks to avoid conflict.

“Sometimes when I find out what’s on other people’s minds, I wonder if we live on totally separate planets.”

Here, Gail reacts to Sophie’s comments about flowers versus bride-and-groom figurines on the wedding cake, but she often has similar observations about the people with which she comes into contact. Gail is a unique individual who often finds herself at odds with others, even relatives. This is evident in her describing them as living on “totally separate planets,” as if other people feel like aliens to Gail. She is aware that part of her solitary nature is rooted in how different she is from other people, and she feels that these differences prevent her from truly understanding others or forming bonds with them.

“It was the case throughout the time I knew him, it strikes me now: two completely different women, one who loved her husband the same as always, and the other who wanted to reach a finger out and very, very gently, nudge this man’s smile higher at the corners.”

Gail found herself pulled in multiple directions during her affair. Although she did not dislike Max, nor would she characterize their relationship as entirely unhappy, she still felt as though they were not an entirely good match. They had little in common, and she did not feel as though they were kindred spirits. Because she and Andrew had so much more in common, he seemed like a more natural choice for her. Still, she remained unwilling to break up her family and ultimately chose them over Andrew.

“Inwardly I was sick at heart. I couldn’t believe I had been cavorting in bed with some near stranger while my husband and daughter went to the emergency room.”

Gail had no trouble betraying Max, and she even dreamed of a life with Andrew. However, she felt guilty about her cheating when it caused her to miss a call alerting her to Debbie getting injured at gymnastics, evidenced by describing her as “sick at heart.” She is a complex character capable of both bad behavior and remorse. Yet she does not apply the lessons she learned about relationships, betrayal, and forgiveness to her daughter’s situation: She does not see Kenneth as multi-faceted and capable of making a mistake. Rather, she judges him harshly for possibly having cheated on Debbie and does not forgive him.

“‘It went perfectly well,’ I said. ‘It was a beautiful wedding.’”

Here, Gail is finally able to meet Debbie where she is and give her support instead of judgment. Having just recalled her affair, she has a better sense of how complex and multi-faceted people are. If she could make a momentary error in judgment, she realizes that Kenneth could too.

“I know I can’t expect you to feel the same about me as you used to.”

Gail left Max because, although they never truly discussed her affair, it had changed the way that Max felt about her. She realized that this was deserved, but she still didn’t like the change in their interpersonal dynamics. Ultimately, she was unable to remain in the marriage after Max’s love for her lessened, even a tiny bit.

“You and I were going to grow old side by side, once upon a time.”

Gail and Max grow closer over the three days surrounding Debbie’s wedding. Although Gail is initially critical of Max and irritated with his presence in her house, she softens toward him. Max’s sole point of contention with Gail is her treatment of Debbie, and he demonstrates how much he still cares for Gail multiple times during the narrative. His tenderness is increasingly on display as the days progress, and by the end of the novel, he seems almost wistful about their marriage. This nostalgia is evident here as he reflects that the two were previously going to grow old together as a married couple. Still, he leaves to return home to his life without incident, and the two appear poised to remain platonic friends.

“Someday I’ll be given credit for all of the things I’ve not said that I could have said.”

Gail has this thought multiple times during the narrative. In this instance, she and Max have been having a conversation about her next career steps. Although Gail mentally pats herself on the back for refraining from criticizing Max, Max has also refrained from criticizing Gail. She is much more aware of other people’s faux pas than her own.

“That’s something you forget when you’ve been on your own for a while, married-couple conversations that continue intermittently for weeks, sometimes, branching out and doubling back and looping into earlier strands like a piece of crochet work.”

Tyler is known for her detailed portrayals of complex marriages. Here, she describes the easy communication style that often characterizes spousal relationships, using a simile comparing these conversations to a crochet piece for their looping and interconnected nature.